To past and present self

Dear Me,

I wish I could have protected you all those years ago. For all those years that you needed me. The years you needed someone safe to be there and hold you, hug you, just to get you away from that life that I know you didn’t willingly choose. I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart!

I’m sorry that the disease of addiction made you a victim to it. I’m  sorry those men made you their victim. I’m sorry for all those broken and alone nights you spent not knowing if you were going to make it out. Please don’t give up though because I promise that you’re going to make it out. I wish I could have gotten you away from the abuse that you endured sooner. Things aren’t always going to be this way. When you get your chance (and I know you will) RUN! And don’t ever look back.

I want you to know that you did make it out. You are now 11 months sober and away from that life. You are recreating the life you’ve ALWAYS dreamed of having. Guess what it’s not a dream anymore. It is your new reality. July 11th 2025 you got yourself (by the grace of God) to walk through the doors of Freedom From Addiction. And that’s what you got. This journey hasn’t and isn’t going to be easy. All you need to remember is EASY DOES IT, and ONE DAY AT A TIME. The real hard work started August 21st 2025, when you walked back through the doors of Safe Hope Home. And that’s what you got! Safety, Hope for a future and a Home. Finally you can breath and start to heal.

This process is not going to be easy for you. You’re going to want to run. What happens if you don’t run though? Well let me tell you because you didn’t run. That’s why you are able to sit here and write this letter that you so badly needed to hear. Damn doesn’t that feel good.

Well I’m not going to lie to you, you had a rough go when you first got here. You were closed off, you didn’t trust yourself let alone anybody else, you didn’t know how to accept help or ask for it. You were just so lost and broken. Safe hope home held you when you couldn’t hold yourself. Safe hope taught you that the things that happened to you was NOT your fault, and that it’s okay to open up and trust again, the right people though the safe people!

Oh Starr, I am so proud of the women that you are becoming. You have the whole world in front of your hands, and I know that you are going to do incredible things. Never give up on yourself because you are so worth it.