The Love I Deserve

I

I wanted him to treat me well and change so badly. Now I know I always was and

always will be worth so much more than someone who sells me, beats and belittles me.

I deserve real, genuine love. Love that I don't have to beg or plead for. Love that is pure and respects me. Love that doesn't ask me to change my morals or who I am. Love that doesn't manipulate or coerce me. Love that likes me for who I am and not what I can do or provide. Love that doesn't take and take until there's nothing left to give. Love that doesn't leave me so broken I'd rather die than keep on going.

I deserve love that shields, supports and protects me from the very "love"I I had with my trafficker. Not love that kills, steals and destroys me. I deserve to be thought of as an

equal and not as an object that can be sold and replaced.

I deserve love that I do not fear, love that doesn't leave marks and bruises. Love that

doesn't have me in tears while its hands are around my throat. Love that doesn't leave

lifelong scars. Love I don't have to heal from.

I now know the love I deserve and it was never that. I deserve a love that cherishes,

uplifts and values me. I deserve love that is consistent and not conditional. Love that

doesn't make me question my worth or wonder what I need to do to be treated kindly. I

deserve a love that lets me feel safe enough to let my guard down, to be vulnerable

without it being used against me. I deserve to exist without worrying about what that

love might do to me.

I deserve to have a voice, boundaries, choices and the freedom to say no without fear

of punishment. I am no longer willing to confuse suffering with love or control with

protection. I no longer need to prove that I am worthy of being treated with respect. That

should never have been something I had to earn.

What he did to me does not define me or determine the kind of love I will have for the

rest of my life. I am not what he made me feel. I am not what he made me do. I am not

what he called me. I am not what he sold me for. I am a person deserving of love,

respect and freedom. And I will never again settle for a love that requires me to lose

myself just to keep it.

- Baby