top of page

Dealing With Depression

Hey guys, it’s Ruby! So lately I’ve been feeling a bit blah.  And as much as I like to deny my depression, I know that’s exactly what it is. I deny my depression mainly because I feel like life is being pretty good to me, so why am I depressed? So I try to ignore it and push it down. But that does nothing to help. By doing that it makes it worse. I start to lose interest in everything. I start to talk less. I don’t find joy in things that should bring me joy.

So how do I deal with it? First I’ve stopped denying it. For a bit, I was saying “Oh it’s not depression, but it’s kinda like depression.” No, it IS depression. So now I have to try to figure out what’s causing it. Because it’s not just a sadness, it’s just a void-like feeling, like I’m just existing. There are no thoughts of suicide or self-harm, but there are feelings of avoidance, and wanting to isolate. Kind of like everything that’s happening isn’t happening to me, and I’m just observing, sort of a detachment.  Everything feels kind of grey.

So I’m trying to remain present. I’m switching up the things I’m doing. Let’s say I’m no longer interested in scrolling my phone, maybe I’ll switch to playing a childhood favourite video game, which seems to bring my inner child out. Let’s say I just want to sleep all day. I try to pull myself out of bed, and at least go into the living room, maybe I’ll throw on some anime, or a scary movie. Sometimes I’ll just vent to staff about things that are bothering me. Sometimes I’ll blast my music in my room while doing some cleaning.  Another thing that really brings my mood up is being around animals.

I know there are going to be some days that are worse than others. There are going to be days that are better. And just like the sky may be grey temporarily, so will my mood. The sun will pop through and split the grey. And I’ve just got to try and hold on to that sunshine, and not stay in the grey.

Thank you so much for reading my posts- Ruby


bottom of page